Arthur's Magic Journal
by HappyKittyKat
Summary: Arthur is ready to give up everything, even his life, when a strange book shows up at his door. TW: mentions of suicide. Rating might change eventually. USUK
1. The Book

**This is based off a roleplay I'm doing with a friend of mine, though I'll be changing a few details. Anyways, I'll try to update when I can, you know how inspiration and motivation can come and go. Reviews will help!**

 **Characters belong to Himaruya Hidekaz, I don't own Hetalia.**

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Arthur was at his breaking point. His mother had died in an accident when he was three, leaving him with his father who was an abusive drunk and three older brothers who bullied him instead of protected him. He was tormented at school, too. After his mother's death, his family moved to the US and Arthur was put in a new school. Since Arthur was nine, he'd been picked on at school. When he graduated high school, his father wanted to move back to England. But Arthur didn't want to go back. In an attempt to escape, he entered a college in the States. His father and brothers moved back across the pond while Arthur stayed. Though that didn't stop them from calling Arthur constantly, almost like they were reminding him that they still existed. He thought things would get better once he started college, but his worst bully from middle and high school ended up at the same college and decided to make Arthur's life a living hell.

So there he was, sitting in his dorm room alone, a blade hovering above his wrist. His hand was shaking and tears threatened to fall. Did he really want to do this? Was this his only escape? He tried to run but his problems followed him. The blade inched closer, but just as it touched skin, there was a knock at his door.

The Briton gasped softly, his hand moving away from his wrist as he looked up to the door. He hid the blade in his nightstand drawer and quickly wiped the beginnings of tears away. But when he opened the door, there was no one there; just a package on the floor. He bent down and picked it up, turning it in his hands to examine it. There was no tag on it, nothing to tell him what it was or who had sent it. Maybe there would be a clue inside?

He closed the door, bringing the package in with him. He was a little excited and a little scared. Who would send him anything? He didn't have friends. Was this a prank? He wasn't sure what he was expecting exactly, but he was glad to see that it was just a book instead of a dead cat or something else horrible.

The book itself was simple but beautiful; black with gold trim and binding. There was no title, no print on the back, nothing to indicate the contents. He opened the book only to find it blank, except for the first page. It read, _'Everyone has the power to write their own story'_. What the hell is this? Arthur didn't understand what this was supposed to mean. But at the moment, Arthur didn't care. He was too emotionally exhausted to think about the strange book. He set it down on his nightstand and turned in for an early night.

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He didn't know why he brought it to class the next morning, but Arthur couldn't stop thinking about it as it sat in his little messenger bag. He was sitting in his required math class, spacing out. The Briton wasn't great at math but good enough that he could afford to not listen for a day. So he decided to take the book out of his bag, setting it on his desk in front of him. For a while he just stared at it. Was it some kind of journal? He supposed it could be anything he wanted it to be, it was blank. He could write down his feelings; he'd heard that it sometimes helped to put your thoughts and feelings on paper. Or he could write a story?

Arthur is an English major and he wanted to be a writer someday, so this could be good practice. Sure, why not? He just had to come up with a good story to write down. He didn't want to waste the book on something awful. Anyone who looked at Arthur writing in his book would think that he was taking notes, so no one bothered him.

Throughout Arthur's life he'd never had someone he could be close to; No friends, no family that loved him after his mother died. He'd always wanted a companion, someone to talk to, someone to love him. So the first thing he did was start creating a character, an imaginary friend of sorts to go on adventures with in his story.

The man would be about his age, 18, but would be a little taller than him. Arthur was around 5'9", this man would be 5'11". He would have wheat blond hair, parted from his right side. It would be neater than Arthur's own wild hair, but would look purposely disheveled. He'd have groomed blond eyebrows and silver wire framed glasses. And behind those specs would be a gorgeous pair of blue eyes, like the deep ocean but with a little light still shining through the surface of the water. The blond would be muscular; a jock maybe, someone who could've gotten a football scholarship. But that didn't mean he'd be academically challenged. He would be skilled in math, science, maybe even history. And he took art as an extracurricular in high school, at first as an easy A class but found that he really enjoyed it. Arthur imagined that this guy would've been fairly popular in high school; joined many clubs along with whatever sport was in season, made friends easily, dated a lot. He would be approachable, kind, have a beautiful bright smile.

Arthur stopped writing and hummed in thought. He'd put a lot of effort into creating an appearance and a personality, but he hadn't even thought up a name yet. The Briton tapped his pencil against the table, nibbling his lower lip. He tossed a few names around his head for a couple minutes before he finally wrote one down.

 _Alfred Jones_

With his nose buried in his book, Arthur didn't notice the classroom door open, a student walking into class late. He gave a small wave of apology to the professor as he went up a set of steps to find an empty seat. An empty seat which he found next to a bushy haired blond guy that didn't have anyone sitting next to him. He was still pretty new, having started school a semester late, so he didn't know the guy. He sure seemed focused on whatever he was writing in his notebook. The new student sat down, setting his backpack down next to his feet. He glanced at the notebook the guy was writing in and didn't see any math equations. Raising a curious eyebrow, he tapped the other on the shoulder. "That sure doesn't look like math. What are you writing?" he asked. He always did let his curiosity get the better of him.

Arthur jumped slightly in surprise at the tap to his shoulder. People didn't usually sit next to him and he didn't even notice that anyone had come over. He was about to respond, but when he looked up at the boy next to him, the words were caught in his throat. He had wheat blond hair, wire framed glasses, gorgeous blue eyes—

He looked just like what he imagined the Alfred in his story to look like.

Arthur tried to speak, but his mind was too busy trying to process what he was seeing. It had become apparent that he wasn't going to answer anytime soon, so the man chuckled (god he had a beautiful smile, and Arthur could listen to that laugh for hours).

"My name is Alfred, what's yours?"

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 **I hope you liked this first chapter, even though it was short. Future chapters will hopefully be longer! Again, please review, it makes it all worth it. I hope to be updating this and publishing other new things soon, and updating my Moulin Rouge story (I'm sorry, please don't kill me).**

 **Until next time!**


	2. Is This Real?

**Here's another chapter! Follow my fanfic blog on tumblr - KittyKatFanfiction for updates, ideas, and I'd love for others to share headcanons with me!**

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 _"My name is Alfred, what's yours?"_

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There's no way. No way this was real. It has to be a coincidence. But what are the chances that this guy would look just like what Arthur had described and be named Alfred? His last name was most definitely not Jones, Arthur was sure of it. "Um...Arthur Kirkland," he finally managed to get out. "Your name is Alfred, huh…? Is there a last name to go with that?" Arthur knew it must've sounded strange, asking him for his full name like he thought he knew him from somewhere. But he had to make sure he wasn't going crazy.

But Alfred's response only confirmed Arthur's suspicions that he was indeed going insane. "Jones." He held a (strong looking) hand up to Arthur and for a moment the Briton forgot what a handshake was. His mind was reeling, the green eyed boy suddenly feeling dizzy. His heart was beating faster and he was finding it harder to breathe. Maybe he was just being paranoid, because there was no way this was the same guy he'd just written about, that was impossible. Arthur looked down at the book in front of him, ignoring the offered handshake to wonder what the hell kind of book was left at his door. He didn't realize he was blacking out until he had already fallen out of his seat onto the floor.

"Woah...you okay…?!" Arthur's hearing faded in and out. "Give...space…!" When Arthur opened his eyes, there were blurry figures standing around him. "...take him...nurse…" The Briton's eyes closed again, the boy losing consciousness.

Arthur woke up about two minutes later as he was being laid down onto what he assumed was a bed. "He's waking up," came a female voice. "Can you hear me?" she asked. Arthur blinked his eyes open, his vision starting to clear up. "Where am I…?" the Briton asked.

"You're in the nurse's office, you fainted."

Arthur looked over and saw that the new student from his math class was standing next to the bed. Did he carry him here? What was his name again? Suddenly Arthur remembered what happened before he passed out. Alfred. His green eyes widened. "Where's my book…? Is it still back there…?!"

Alfred held a hand out, trying to tell him to stop. "Woah, hey, calm down, I've got it right here!" He picked up Arthur's bag that was sitting on the floor. "Your stuff is here."

Arthur sat up and reached for his bag, opening the top zipper and looking inside. There he saw the familiar black book with the gold lining. Just as the Briton gave a sigh of relief, he was gently being pushed to lie back down by the woman he assumed to be the nurse. "Take it easy there, you just woke up from a fainting spell. Just relax for a few minutes, take deep breaths. Do you have any other classes today?" Arthur shook his head, the nurse nodding in response. "Okay, when you feel well enough to get up I want you to go back to your room and lie down for a bit. Mr. Jones, I'd like for you to walk him back to his room in case he starts to feel faint again."

Arthur looked up at the nurse with surprise and a little confusion. "You know his name…?" So maybe he didn't just appear out of thin air.

"Your teacher called ahead and told me you two were coming," she clarified. "So, if something like this happens again I want you to give me a call. Fainting isn't very serious, but it's concerning if it happens often."

"Yeah...Okay…"

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As Alfred walked Arthur back to his dorm room, the Briton couldn't stop thinking about what he thought was happening. Let's pretend for a moment what this Alfred was actually the same guy from his story. How would that be possible? Did Arthur suddenly have magical powers he hadn't been aware of until now? Was it the strange book that appeared at his door seemingly from nowhere? Or was God finally doing something nice for him and giving him this amazing person to make his friend? Hm...Arthur wouldn't bet on that last one.

'I suppose I could test it out,' Arthur thought.

"Arthur, did you hear me?" Arthur snapped out of his thoughts as he realized Alfred was talking to him.

"What?" When Arthur looked up at the American, he was looking at him a little worriedly. "Are you sure you're okay?" Alfred asked. "You're not feeling dizzy or anything right?"

Arthur shook his head. "No, no, I'm fine. I was just thinking...Oh, thank you for taking me to the nurse." He had probably made the worst first impression he'd ever made to anyone. And that was saying something since he didn't have any friends.

Alfred's concerned expression turned back into that bright smile he'd had when he first introduced himself. "No problem! I couldn't just do nothing." Arthur stopped at his door, digging through his jeans pocket for his key.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. In class." If this wasn't all a dream.

The American nodded. "Yeah, okay." Before Arthur could go in his room he added, "Oh, hey...You wanna hang out sometime? I started school late, so I don't really know that many people around here yet. Maybe you could show me around?"

Arthur stared at him a few seconds in shock. No one ever wanted to hang out with him. Even after leaving high school and starting college where hardly anyone knew him, he never attracted much attention. It's like he had a big sign on his forehead that told people he wasn't worth spending time with. But it's okay, Arthur liked his alone time. Most of the time. He shook himself back to attention. "Uh...maybe. I'll have to see if I have the time…" Of course he would have the time, but whether he'd be in the mood to be social was another matter entirely.

"Okay! Here, I'll give you my number." The two exchanged cell numbers, making Alfred one of now maybe five contacts in Arthur's phone. "Text me sometime. Get some rest now, okay? See ya tomorrow!" Alfred grinned and waved a little as he left Arthur at his doorstep.

Arthur stood there for a minute, taking in what just happened. Someone who was no doubt very popular where he came from, and seemingly very sweet and caring, just asked for his number. He wanted to hang out with Arthur; almost like he wanted to be friends. But why would he want to be friends with Arthur? He was definitely nothing special. He was short, thin, he dressed plainly, his hair was always a mess, and what could've been redeemable on his face was ruined by his horrendous eyebrows inherited by his father. Not to mention personality wise he was boring, quiet, of average intelligence. Alfred seemed to be too good to be true.

Was he trying to trick him? In high school, Arthur could remember a few times where someone asked him to hang out just to see if he was desperate enough to say yes. They didn't really want to be his friend, they were making fun of him. Arthur didn't want to believe that Alfred was doing that, but then again he didn't really know the American. If he was anything like the Alfred in his book, he would never do something like that.

He had to know. It may have been ridiculous to even consider, but Arthur decided that instead of taking his nap he would experiment with this strange book he received.

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 **Sorry the chapters have been so short, I'm afraid that if I try to make them too long it'll take me too long to write and I might never get it done (me being a procrastinator).**

 **Leave a review! They're what fuels me!**


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